Because I’m a selfless solider of the queer community – I’ve spent the last year reviewing the best sex toys for lesbians and queer women. It was very scientific and not at all self-serving. Okay, maybe it was slightly self-serving. But it’s for a good cause.
The lesbian community is plagued with stereotypes, misconceptions, and outright falsehoods when it comes to our sexuality. Why? Because our sexual health isn’t prioritized in public schools or even public health policies around the world.
We’re told about lesbian bed death and how lesbian bars can’t keep their doors open, but we’re not informed about STIs or the fact that queer women have more equitable sexual relationships than straight women. In fact, A 2014 study by the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that lesbians orgasmed 86% of the time during sex, compared with 61% for heterosexual women. That’s tragic.
While they’re not necessary for lesbian sex to be beautiful and fulfilling – they are fun. Plus, sex toys are an integral part of our sexuality, culture, and intimacy as lesbians and queer women.
Before I get all academic I want to explain how the following toys made it onto this list and what makes me qualified to write this article. First, I’ve been an out queer since 1999. I’ve been a member of the queer kink and BDSM communities the majority of my adult life, have authored a queer women’s sex column, and I’ve been professionally gay since 2006.
I’m also a queer influencer so I get gifted TONS of sex toys from companies in the hopes I’ll promote them. Some have been good, some have been great, and some have been a waste of batteries. I’m a harsh critic and I’d never promote garbage. But I have worked with many high-quality sex toy brands including some who make this list.
Where possible I tried to list toy companies that were owned by women and specifically created with queer women in mind – like Wet For Her and Dame. When that wasn’t possible I tried to list stores owned by queer women like Babeland. But if the product was truly amazing [cough womanizer premium cough] it made the list regardless.
Many of the links in this article are affiliate links which means if you choose to buy something from this post, EveryQueer earns a small commission at no cost to you. All of the proceeds from this article will go towards hiring queer creatives and towards providing marginalized voices in our community a platform. So thank you in advance for supporting independent queer media.
The Very Best Lesbian Vibrators
Best G Spot Vibrators
Lelo GIGI 2
The GIGI 2 is the perfect traditional everyday vibrator. I love how versatile it is with the simple 4-button controls. Technically, it’s marketed as a G-Spot vibrator, but you can also use the flat head for great clitoral stimulation. It’s perfect for self-play because of its curved and ﬂattened tip that can be used pressed against your clit or internally perfectly targeting your G-spot. One reviewer even went as far as to say, “The greatest no-frills vibrator of all time. PERIOD.” Oh and bonus points because it’s practically silent too!
Jimmy Jane Euphor
The Euphor is the perfect vibrator for g-spot or p-spot stimulation. There are 10 different mix and match settings to choose from. Enjoy choosing between five high-performing vibration modes and five intensity levels. It’s also waterproof and fully submersible – which means it’s bath and pool friendly. A great choice for your next beach vacation.
Dame Arc G-Spot Vibrator
I’m not going to lie to y’all – I’m obsessed with the sex toy company Dame. I love so many of their products because they are designed with both function and aesthetics in mind. They’re also created by Janet Lieberman an MIT engineer and Alexandra Fine a Colombia University sexologist. There’s just something about smart women bridging the orgasm gap professionally that does it for me. The Arc G-Spot Vibrator makes our list for a number of reasons but to begin with -it’s so silky smooth it feels expensive. It also features a strong motor with a squishy bulb head and the handle has a clit-stimulating ridge.
Toyfriend Smooth Classy
The Smooth Classy is the perfect g spot vibrator for beginners. It’s slightly different from the other g spot vibrators on this list because it has a less dramatic curve. Depending on your unique anatomy this could be just what you’re looking for to hit the right spot. It comes with dual motors and is USB chargeable. The vibration pattern is also different and is a lower frequency with more of a rumbly variation rather than the buzzing sensations of other vibrators.
More of our favorite G Spot vibrators for lesbians and queer women:
Gossip Delight, Vush Myth G-Spot Vibrator, Mini Emma, LIV 2, MONA Wave
The Best Dual Function Rabbit Vibrators
Pure Romance Main Attraction
The Main Attraction is a silicone dual-action vibrator that comes with 20 different functions to mix and match. It’s also water-resistant so feel free to take it for that long hot special bath time. This particular double function vibrator is great because of the ridges on the end and the ability to change the vibration patterns and intensity independently of each other. Plus, the tapered end of the clit massaging portion is perfect for getting just the right end.
Jimmy Jane Glo Rabbit
The Glo Rabbit is not your average rabbit vibrator. It’s the first vibrator with a warming sensation on the inside and a fluttering clitoral stimulator on the outside. YES, you read that correctly – warming sensation. Choose between ten high-performing vibration modes PLUS enjoy the temperature play for a variety of sexual textures.
Lelo INA 2
INA 2 is perfect for blended orgasms. One of the things I love about Lelo as a brand is that they offer useful suggestions for ways to incorporate the INA 2 into play. Try positioning yourself on your knees with your legs shoulder-width apart and then inserting the INA 2 inside yourself while tilting the handle downward to put direct pressure on your G-spot while enjoying the simultaneous vibrations of the smaller arm against your clit. You may not realize it now – but that’s a life-changing vibrator hack. Trust me.
More of our favorite rabbit vibrators for lesbians and queer women:
SORAYA WAVE, Ruby Rabbit, G Rabbit, Eden Bunny, Disco Triple Play Stimulating Rabbit, SORAYA 2, OhMiBod Fuse
Vush Majesty 2
Vush has put some big money behind marketing the Majesty 2 – everything from influencer campaigns to appearing in a Cardi B video so when they reached out offering to send me one to try I was a bit skeptical. When I got it I immediately understood the hype. It’s a no-frills tried and true vibrating wand but what makes this one a real winner is that it comes with 5 varying levels and 10 different patterns there are 50 different ways to play. It definitely lives up to the hype.
Hitachi Magic Wand
This is old school – like – really old school – but there’s a reason some things reach icon status. The Hitachi Magic Wand has been granting the big O for the last 50 years. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart – even on a low setting, it’s not uncommon to go from zero to finish in 20 seconds. This little baby is packed with power and perfect for orgasm training or consensual forced orgasm play. There are a few pros and cons here – the fact that it plugs into the wall means it’s not as mobile as some other toys on the list but it also means it will never have the battery die mid-play. It’s also loud as hell BUT wildly effective for folks who have trouble cumming. Also, be fair warned – this baby is loud – like fucking a jackhammer loud.
The Mystique Wand is a rumbly multilevel vibrating wand. It’s about half the size of the Hitachi and comes with a detachable charger. It’s also way more modern in its design and easier to clean. The major difference between the two is that the vibrating patterns in the Mystique are about 80% as strong as the Hitachi with a much smaller head and handle attachment.
More of our favorite vibrating wands for lesbians and queer women:
Self + JimmyJane Body Massager, Exona, Smart Wand, Smart Wand 2, Le Wand, Mystic Wand Vibrator, Starstruck Romance
Our Favorite Clitoral Vibrators
Womanizer Premium Clitoral Massager
The Womanizer Premium is the Rolls Royce of Clitoral vibrators. If my house was burning down and I could only grab a small bag of my most prized possessions this bad boy is going. Buy this. FULL STOP.
Okay – I suppose I should tell you how it works.
I’ve owned a ton of vibrators over the years and this one is by far my favorite. The manufactures call it “Pleasure Air technology” but basically it sucks your clit without making contact. It has 12 different intensity levels from super soft to superpower. To put it lightly, It changed sex for me. It even has this new autopilot function that changes its rhythm every time you use it so you get a new orgasm each time. It also has this smart silence feature that allows it to automatically stop when it is not near your skin and starts when it is almost touching the surface of your skin. Oh and as if it wasn’t perfect enough, it’s also completely waterproof.
The Womanizer Duo is made with the same technology as the Premium. The difference is the dildo attachment. It’s unique because of the intensity and vibration patterns. There’s a vibration feature in the clit stimulator and another in the G-spot stimulator. Each vibrator has 12 different intensity levels and 10 vibration patterns. Yes, each function is controlled independently which makes for 34 different options on this bad boy. With a little experimentation, you’ll definitely find exactly the right setting for you.
Pure Romance Euforia
The Euforia clitoral vibrator is equipped with two intense motors with 12 functions each—three speeds and nine pulsing patterns. It’s also really pretty with its rose gold and cream colorways. One unique aspect of this particular clitoral vibe is the warming base that adds heat to the play equation.
The Carezza Stimulator is unique because rather than a blowing, buzzing, or sucking sensation it creates an almost gentle tapping sensation. It’s designed to mimic the sensation of a gentle finger tapping right over your clit. It is unlike any sex toy I’ve ever experienced and offers sensations that are completely different than what I’ve come to expect as a connoisseur of sex toys. The variations, rhythmic changes, and pure novelty of the toy make this one worth exploring.
Vush – The Empress Vibrator
The Empress is Vush’s signature clitoral vacuum stimulator. This clever pocket-sized vibe uses enhanced vacuum-type sucking technology on your clit to get you going. Now the Empress is different from the other suction-based vibrators on this list because it’s a lighter vibration perfect for those of us who are a bit more sensitive downstairs. Plus it’s super quiet, guaranteeing privacy whilst you show yourself some love.
More of our favorite clitorial vibrators for lesbians and queer women:
Ascend 3, Tight Call, Filare Clitoral Massager, Form 2, Enigma
Rock Her Scissoring Vibrator
I’m not going to lie to you – I was skeptical at best when I first received this toy. I was one of those lesbians that thought scissoring was a myth that actual lesbians didn’t do. LORD was I wrong. If you’ve ever struggled to get the angle just right – buy this and preach the gospel of the art of scissoring. Elevate your scissoring technique with the Rock Her from Wet for Her. It’s designed specifically for scissoring with 10 modes and wireless remote control.
The Cuddly Bird is designed to be displayed as home decor because it doubles as a nightstand lamp but don’t let this sweet little birdie fool you – it is most definitely a sex toy worth owning. it’s also incredibly cute, soft, and squishy. It’s somewhere in between a traditional vibrator and a clit sucking vibrator and created with breathtaking blended orgasms in mind.
Wow Her Clitoral Ring
76% of women reported that they need clitoris stimulation to have a vaginal orgasm. I’m sure that stat isn’t surprising, it’s a long-known fact that most women can’t cum from vaginal penetration alone. For hands-free fun, use the Wow Her Clitoral Ring alone or attached to your favorite dildo. Its 5 vibrations modes, hour-long battery time, and USB rechargeable capabilities make it a must for any queer couple’s toy chest.
Remote Kegal Vibrator
While this little baby is advertised as a Kegal Vibrator with means of tightening your pelvic floor, it has a secondary use that shouldn’t be forgotten. It brings a whole new meaning to “slipping into something a bit sexy” under your date night outfits. Hand your honey the control and let them control your pleasure on your romantic outing. It’s lightly weighted and has ten different vibration settings that I’d describe as a light on the intensity. It’s perfect for a discrete low sound toy.
More of our favorite specialty vibrators for lesbians and queer women:
Evoke Du-O, Love Pods Coral, Dame Eva 2, Midori Intimate, Tenga Iroha Plus Kushi, Starsi Vibrator
The Best Strap On Harnesses
SpareParts Strap On Harnesses
SpareParts makes the best harnesses on the market hands down. Honestly I could end this section on harnesses right here – they’re the best in the business. They make a variety of different shapes and styles but they’re consistently the best for a wide variety of reasons. First, they’re fully adjustable with velcro which makes them really easy to take on and off and reposition if necessary. They eliminate that awkwardness of adjusting and readjusting each time. They’re also machine washable which means you can throw them in with all your other laundry and avoid using the alcohol-based cleaners that crack leather harnesses. They’re compatible with traditional, double dildos, and packers plus they have a small pocket built-in for a bullet vibrator as well. My personal favorite is the basic Joque the jockstrap style harness. Try Theo for an androgynous almost thong-style harness. Sasha for a full coverage feminine look. Bella for a harness with garters to attach to your stockings.
Tomboii Boxer O’Ring Harness
The Tomboill Boxer Harness is an underwear-style harness with a more masculine flair. It’s made of cotton, machine washable and easy to pull up and down. The Tomboii Boxer features a pair of elasticated O-rings. Plus, It has three separate pockets for bullet vibrators which is great because it allows the vibrator to be placed in the perfect spot for your particular body. This harness is also perfect for transmen and folks who like to explore gender with packers. It has a front pocket that snaps so your packer always stays in the perfect position. This harness mixes technical features and pure comfort.
RodeoH Underwear Style Strap On Harnesses
The RodeoH Harness has long been respected as one of the most convenient products available. They make harnesses that are fashioned like underwear in a wide variety of styles, boxers, briefs, bikinis – whatever your preferred style they’ve got it covered. The nice part of RodeoH is that the fitted harness removes the need for complicated straps and buckles. They slide on and off easily without the need to pause the action to tighten any buckles. They’ve also included a vibe pockets in all the right places and an O-ring to help support the weight of the dildo. I found that the fabric wasn’t strong enough to hold the dildo in place well but RodeoH has recently released a neoprene stabilizer insert to help keep things stable mid-thrust.
G Spot Strap-On Set
This strap-on set is a great way to experiment without taking the financial plunge with some of the other products. The harness is adjustable with a padded front and a rubber O-ring that helps with support and control. The 6 inch silicone dildo is also great for anal play.
More of our favorite strapon harnesses for lesbians and queer women:
Pete Packer Underwear Trunks, Temptasia Plus Size, Lillith Leather Harness, Lace and Corset Vegan Harness, Leather Femme Harness, Diva Harness, Saffron Strap-On Harness
Best Dildo for Lesbians and Queer Women
Dildos are so subjective and hard to really nail (pun intended). Many of the qualities of the perfect dildo depend on the preferences of the owner. Some people like realistic dildos, some prefer brightly colored, length, girth, with or without balls, and foreskin plus materials all vary widely.
You’ll want to consider if you’re using an O-ring harness, VacuLock, or another form of attachment.
A few things to look out for – seek out a phthalate-free toy. Phthalates are chemicals that are added to some plastics to increase their flexibility and softness. While the long-term effects of exposure to Phthalates is still up for debate we do know that prolonged exposure is suspected to cause a number of health issues including an increased risk of breast cancer and birth defects. Because of the known risks, phthalates are now being banned from many products including children’s toys. However, since sex toys are considered to be novelty items, they are not regulated and many of them still contain these dangerous chemicals.
You may also want to consider a dildo made of a non-porous material such as silicon, glass, wood, or stainless steel for easy sanitation.
The Best Dildos for Strapons
Limba Flex Dildos
The Limba Flex Dildos are perfect for exploring new positions with their flexible shape. They contour and move with ease to help you find what works best with your body. It’s small and flexible enough to be perfect for packing. It also fits in most harnesses and has a slight suction at the base. It’s soft enough to bend and mold but hard enough to retain its shape.
Union Double Dildo
This is the strapless strap-on to end all strap-ons. How does it work? One of you inserts the “bulb”, the short part, inside the vagina and when you close your legs, thanks to your pc muscles, your body holds it in place. You’re ready for action. Now, there are some pros and cons to this toy. First, it’s great for gender play because it feels as if it’s part of your body. It’s also lightweight and easily cleaned. The cons, it doesn’t come in a realistic texture and it might not be the best choice for a top who doesn’t enjoy penetration. The Union double dildo comes with a small bullet vibrator that has 5 speeds and is USB rechargeable for a little extra stimulation.
First Mate Firm Core Silicone Dildo
The First Mate is a semi-realistic 7.5” dildo with a textured shaft and a pronounced head. It’s the perfect dildo for strapons when you’re looking for the comfort of a softer and more flexible exterior while maintaining the solid inner core that gives the dildo a sturdy and rigid stiffness that stands at attention. The skin-like exterior offers a smoother, more skin-like feel.
The Pop Strapon Dildo is marketed by Wet For Her as the conceiving at home answer to insemination and baby-making. However – I can think of a few other uses for this dildo that don’t involve 10-centimeter dilation at the end – unless you’re into that of course. Equipped with a tube inserted into the toy’s body you can load lube into it with a syringe to mimic the consistency of cum. Just squeeze the pump when you’re ready to – uhh pop – and wham bam thank you ma’am – you’ve got a load of jizz.
Maven is a girthy, curving, and textured dildo. This dildo is also soft, supple, and pliant. The firm base makes this perfect for harness play. It’s realistic while still looking like a dildo and comes in a variety of colors. It’s 7’5 inches long and 1.6 inches in diameter which makes it on the longer and thinner side.
More of our favorite dildos for strapons:
Banx Dildo, Avant D8, Adam’s Silicone Cock, Colours Pleasures Dildo, Amor Dildo, Finger Extenders
Our Favorite Realistic Dildos
The RealCock2 is a hyper-realistic dildo in fact it’s so realistic that it’s more of a prosthetic than a dildo at all. It’s so lifelike that it could easily be mistaken for a flesh and blood penis in photos and video. It’s also really expensive, at $500 and a several weeks waitlist you’ll need deep pockets and patience. Not only does it look realistic, it feels incredibly skin-like – unlike any other toy I’ve ever seen. They’re also completely customizable to your unique preferences. If you’ve got the means, it’s definitely worth the investment.
The BJ Dildo is designed specifically for queer blowjobs. I was blown away (pun intended) when I first discovered this dildo. I’ve never seen anything like it before. It’s innovative in its design with a hollow core and open tip so that it creates a suction function on the wearer’s clit. It can be used with or without a harness and has a soft realistic feel.
Vixskin Slim Dildo
Vixskin makes super high-quality realistic feeling dildos in a wide variety of lengths and girths. I love that they’re mindful of the diversity in the community like the way they note the longer length of Slim Dildo comes in handy for pegging, positions where you can use a few extra inches, and for folks with larger bellies or butts. They make their dildos with a solid inner core with a softer exterior silicone because it increases comfort and adds to the realistic look and feel. They’re a great realistic option at a mid-range price point.
The Shagger Dildo Base Attachment
The Shagger is a base for your favorite dildo. If you’re a fan of strapon play but are looking for more sensation when you’re wearing a harness, this is perfect. The Shagger is a soft silicone contoured pad designed to easily slip over your dildo’s base when it’s snugly installed in a harness. It’s soft and flexible so it will bend and flow with your movement. The contoured pad stimulates without direct penetration–and it also serves as a lovely bumper pad that helps to protect the wearer from bruising or discomfort during thrusting. It’s great for people looking for more stimulation while wearing a harness without penetration but not quite as much as a vibrator would offer.
More of our favorite dildos for lesbians and queer women:
Kiki Steel Wand, Cissus, Avant D8, Le Wand, Slimline G-Spot Glass Dildo, Onyx Glass Dildo
FTM Sex Toys
Please Note: I’ve included a section on sex toys for transgender men and nonbinary people in this article for lesbians and queer women for multiple reasons. The first is to be inclusive, but also to recognize the lived experience of many people in the trans community as overlapping with queer women. And also to recognize that many queer women have transgender and nonbinary partners. In an effort to accurately report for this section I deferred to a few close friends who are transgender and nonbinary on their favorite products.
Buck-Off FTM Stroker
The Buck-Off was created by FTM porn star Buck Angel. The stroker is made specifically for FTM trans users currently on T. This toy is designed specifically for pleasure while helping to reduce some of the stress of gender dysphoria. The Buck-Off is specifically designed for users with a penis/clitoris about the size of a thumb. Internal ribbing provides bands of stimulation all along the shaft up through the head. The base of this stroker is designed to provide some grip through suction, fitting tightly against the skin to provide a secure seal. The molded head provides a better grip and a more masculine silhouette.
The gender-neutral Enby is a universally inclusive toy that you can hump, flex to make into a masturbation sleeve, tuck inside a harness, and easily slip between bodies regardless of your physical anatomy or gender identity. The USB rechargeable vibrator can be used in any way your heart desires. With 3 Multi Speeds and 5 sensation patterns, Enby’s versatility doesn’t end.
Inya Pump and Vibe
While the Inya Pump and Vibe is not exclusively a toy for transmen it is very popular with several transmen I surveyed before writing these reviews. One of the reasons it’s popular is because the opening of the suction cup is large enough to fit over many people’s post-T anatomy. Plus the handle and the sucking sensation help ease dysphoria that some guys experience during sexual play.
Rubbies are nonpenetrative sex toys designed for bumping and grinding. The soft silicone matt is covered with 80 individual gentle spikes and numbs that create just the right amount of stimulation against your most sensitive parts.
More of our favorite FTM sex toys:
Jack Silicone 2-in-1 Stroker, Vibrating Helping Head Pro, Shot Pocket Sleeve, Hard Line 2-in-1 Pack and Play, Transmasc Pump Deluxe, Travus the FTM Stroker
Best Anal Toys
Anal Trainer Set
Anal play is all about starting small and listening to your body. This seven-piece anal trainer set comes with a set of three unique anal plugs. I love that it comes with an educational guide to help you learn some of the tips and tricks of anal 101. They’re combining all the tools needed to enjoy beginner-level to more intermediate anal play. The set comes with an enema bulb for anal play preparation and a lube injector to help get your lubricant of choice deeper into the body.
Enema Douche Bulb
Cleaner, sexier and safer anal play starts with preparation. This comfortable, portable and easy-to-use enema bulb gets your going in the right direction without complicating things.
Tilt Dual Vibration Warming Plug
Tilt’s two independently-controlled motors deliver seven intensity levels of powerful, intense, rumbly vibrations internally and externally. This is the perfect toy for queer women with a prostate but can be used vaginally to stimulate the G-spot as well.
The Limba Flex Anal Dildo
The perfect size and shape anal dildo can be tough to find. The Limba Flex contours to create the perfect shape to suit your body. This customizable dildo makes it easy to explore a lot of different positions and curves without having to flip through your entire toy collection. Whether you’re looking for a dildo with an extreme curve or one with a straight shaft, the Limba packs a wide variety of shapes into a single form.
More of our favorite anal toys:
Dia, Glams – Spades Trainer Kit, Bruno, Nyx Dildo, Hugo, Vick Remote Control Prostate Massager
BDSM Toys for Lesbians and Queers
I prefer BDSM toys that come from independent crafters over mass-produced toys because the quality of the toys impacts the play (pun intended). I love Etsy as a platform for discovering new product lines for impact toys that can be customized to the user’s needs. Before we get into some of our favorites I want to take a minute to discuss BDSM safety.
BDSM Safety Tips:
- Impact play and bondage should be done on areas of the human body well protected by fat or muscle.
- Avoid impact on the kidneys, neck, tailbone, hip bones, collar bones, the head.
- Avoid impact and tying near all joints or areas where there is bone especially close to the skin.
- Use bondage and impact techniques on permitted but high-risk areas only after proper training and experience.
A leather crop is a perfect BDSM toy to add to your collection regardless if you’re a beginner or a seasoned pro. Good leather crops consist of a body – a flexible base, braided or trimmed with leather and a handle, sometimes with a loop for putting on a hand. The most important part of the crop is the ending or the slap which is the wide soft leather plate at the end. Be mindful that cheap plastic crops can have sharp edges that may cut the skin upon impact and they’re generally easily broken which is not the goal here. I love this inexpensive crop from Provocateur Creations at $36. It’s affordable without sacrificing quality. If you’re looking for something a bit more high-end, this leather crop from Marrys Flower is super high-end and feels expensive from the weight of the metal handle to the Spanish leather accent pieces and slap.
Choosing the right BDSM paddle can be challenging with so many options. The material type, thud vs. sting, flexibility, size, and intended use all vary from paddle to paddle. I prefer wooden paddles for both the variations and the aesthetics. I love the over-the-knee hairbrush style paddles from Little Red Spanking for their customization. They allow you to select the type of wood and thickness for your paddle and even have a service to help you select which wood is best for your interests.
Much like selecting a BDSM paddle, finding the right cane for you will vary based on your preferences. The greater the rigidity, weight, and diameter of the deeper the thud-like impact of the cane. The same is true for the opposite, the lighter, longer, and more flexible the cane the greater the sting of the cane. This progression set allows for experimentation at different widths. Another great option is the Flinch crop.
Much like a leather crop investing in high-quality leather makes all the difference in cuffs. A soft quality leather is best for comfort and appearance. I love these beautiful red and green leather cuffs from Kookie International for both their quality and their functionality. They’re made of soft supple leather but are durable with connecting D Rings and buckles. If you’re not into colored leather opt for these classic vegan leather black cuffs.
These classic sturdy steel handcuffs from Better Sex are the perfect role play accessory. The cuffs are lockable but also feature a safety release mechanism for peace of mind during play. Keep in mind the metal cuffs have a lot more bite than the padded leather, which could of course be a good or bad thing.
I think there’s something exceptionally sexy about the spreader bar, perhaps that’s due to a photo I saw when I was first coming out but that’s a story for another day. This spreader bar from Better Sex is easier to transport because it’s made of nylon, metal, velcro. Though I wouldn’t recommend packing it in your carry-on luggage. The Better Sex spreader is great for beginners and those looking for a softer feel but this little guy still packs a punch with built-in wrist and ankle restraints that are perfect for experimenting with a variety of positions. If you’re looking for something a bit more rigid go for this expandable spreader bar made of metal – it’s a great value for the money. It comes with neoprene cuffs but more importantly gives you the option to attach your own high-quality cuffs. If you’re looking for something a bit more industrial this ballistic metal spreader is pricey but will absolutely stand the test of time and any position you put it through. Plus, it’s completely customizable with the colors and materials they use.
Kinksters have particular tastes and opinions when it comes to play collars for both function and aesthetics. I love the simplicity and customization of the Stockroom’s garment leather collar. This handmade Italian leather and chrome play collar come with either a chain or leather lead. The high-quality design is high quality for play while the leather itself is soft against your neck. Another great alternative is this sexy black and red vegan leather collar. The collar is fully adjustable to fit a wide variety of bodies and comes with a chain-link lead.
This sterling silver collar is delicate, dainty and could be discreetly worn in any setting. While still stylish this thin black leather day collar has a distinctly more edgy vibe. You can also make customized leather collars and chokers at Daddy’s Leather Shop on Etsy. You’re able to choose the color of the leather, length, and color of the hardware (gold, silver, and rose gold).
Under the Bed Restraints
Experimenting with bondage can seem intimidating with my high-priced items with complicated setups required. What is great about under-bed restraints is that they are easy to set up, simple to put away when not in use, and highly effective during play. They work in different ways but the overall goal is to create a sturdy surface to clip wrist and ankle cuffs to. A great beginners level product uses a series of belts to clip onto the mattress and cost less than $20. For something a bit more check out this under the bed restraint system from Adam and Eve it fits on all bed sizes including pillow top queens and can be easily tucked under the mattress when not in use. You don’t need a four-poster bed to live out your wildest fantasies anymore.
Looking for a way to spice up a vacation? Think nipple clamps. They’re small, easy to pack but highly impactful. There are a few different styles each with its own pros and cons. This traditional clamp set comes with a delicate chain connecting them that I think makes them even sexier plus the attached weighted beads create a jolt of sensation when the wearer moves around. This sleek magnetic set is designed to look like a nipple piercing but with the distinctive pitch that comes with a clamp. They can also be used as a labia clamp.
More of our favorite BDSM toys for lesbians and queer women:
7 reel pinwheel, Hemp Bondage Rope, Fishnet Ballgag, Ouch! Costas Leather Harness, Acrylic Cane, Fetish Drip Candles, Wireless Estim Starter Kit, All Access Silicone Hogtie Clip, Sex in the Shower Silicone Slapper, Water Buffalo Leather Spanking Paddle