Specific slang and terminology is a great way for the queer community to connect and share a type of language with one another. It lets us communicate concepts and thoughts in a quick way while connecting us.
Whether you’re freshly out or have been out for a while, it’s easy to get lost in the amount of slang or terminology currently used in queer communities. Sometimes it seems like new terms are created every day. Here’s a list of terms that might help you if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Queer Terms and Slang to Refresh Your Memory or Learn Something New
Baby Gay: A baby gay refers to someone who is freshly out of the closet
Bear: Typically a queer man who is larger and hairier
Beard: A fake romantic partner used to hide one’s sexuality
Bicon: A bisexual icon, see: David Bowie
Bottom: Typically someone who prefers to be less in control during sexual interactions
Butch: A typically masculine presenting lesbian
Butch4Butch: Butch queer people who prefer or exclusively have relationships with other butch people
Celesbian: A celebrity who is a lesbian
Chapstick lesbian: A chapstick lesbian refers to a lesbian who is between the typical feminine and masculine presentation.
Dopplebanger: A queer person who likes to be with other people that look similar to them
Enby: Enby is a shorter way of saying nonbinary, it’s supposed to sound like the letter N and B
Femme: A lesbian who presents mostly traditionally feminine features
Femme4Femme: Feminine queer people who prefer or exclusively have relationships with other femme people
Futch: A queer woman or nonbinary person whose presentation is typically a mix of femme and butch features. They can have both feminine and masculine traits.
Gaydar: The supposed ability to be able to identify if someone is gay based on intuition
Hey Mamas Lesbians: A lesbian who might present more masculine and wears items like Nike sports bras, chain necklaces, and might have an undercut. They might say the phrase “hey mamas” to attract other lesbians.
Hundred Footer: A queer person you can spot from a hundred feet away
Lipstick lesbian: A lesbian who presents in a typically feminine way. It is sometimes used to talk about a lesbian who passes as straight.
Masc4Masc: Masc queer people who prefer or exclusively have relationships with other masc people
MLM: Stands for man loving man
NBLW: Stands for nonbinary loving woman
Otter: Typically a queer man who is similarly hairy like a bear, but is smaller in size
Pillow princess: A pillow princess is someone who typically wants to receive during sexual intercourse, but does not want to give
Power Bottom: A power bottom is someone who is typically receiving during sexual intercourse, but finds power in that and takes control of their receiving
Sapphic: Sapphic refers to a nonbinary person or a woman who loves women, including lesbian, bisexual, and pansexual people.
Soft butch: A soft butch refers to a lesbian who is masculine but presents some feminine characteristics
Stealth: A trans person who does not disclose they are trans, could be to certain people or in certain situations
Stem: A Black lesbian who is a mix of “femme” and stud”
Stone Butch: A lesbian who presents highly masculine
Stone Top: A stone top typically refers to someone who only likes to give during sexual interactions
Stud: A Black masculine lesbian
Switch: Typically someone who likes being in either dynamic
T4T: Trans people who exclusively have relationships with other trans people, or prioritize those relationships
Top: Typically a person who takes more control during sexual interactions
Twink: A queer man who appears youthful and small in appearance
Uhauling: Uhauling refers to a lesbian couple that gets attached quickly and moves in together after a short period of time.
Urge to Merge: Typically referring to lesbians, urge to merge references people who start doing everything together and might become a very similar person
WLW: Stands for a woman loving woman
We hope this list of terms helped you out, but if you’d rather not use them that’s totally okay! If you don’t feel like they represent you or your community, it’s more than okay not to use them. These terms are just a way to have fun and let those who want to use them to connect to certain topics, connect. We want everyone to feel comfortable, confident, and respected in the words they use to describe themselves and others.